4 days out - my worst fear

Induction Day is scheduled for 18 January.
Last appointment I was +23 pounds...I don't know how I keep going up and down in weight - it must be what I am wearing that day.
Last weekend, I had my maternity photo shoot and I it was COLD, but so fun!  I got a few jumps on the trampoline - finally!  And the kids definitely told the photographer that I was going to pee my pants.  They were, unfortunately, right.  I had to do an outfit change after the jumping.  Well worth it for the pics!

My doctor, Dr. Luecke, told me at my appointment about a woman who came into labor & delivery with her 4th pregnancy and she wanted her epidural, but she was already 7cm and the doctor told her too bad, it was too late.  THIS IS MY BIGGEST FEAR!

I was 3cm dilated at my last appointment and I have never really felt a contraction.  SERIOUSLY!  I haven't really even had braxton-hicks.  I am not sure if that is lucky or what...but right now I'm fearful!  It keeps me up at night.  Every weird pain or feeling, I'm not sure if it's a contraction.  What if I'm the woman who comes into the hospital 7cm and no epidural.  That would be TERRIBLE!!!  HORRIBLE!!!
I know that women do it all the time and I respect those women...but I just want my normal medicated, easy labor and delivery...why try and do it the natural way NOW!?!?  I have very fond memories of my 3 other deliveries - with Elli I was nervous, but it was great, Hank's I specifically remember it being the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy and I remember asking the anesthesiologist if we could turn the TV up so I wouldn't miss anything.  With Jake, the Redskins were on and they were actually beating up on Dallas.  So, you see, I just want my normal labor and delivery that I have had with the past 3 pregnancies.

So, yesterday, I was annoyed with the boys' bedroom set up, so I felt that I HAD to move the furniture (2 beds and a small dresser) while Jake was napping.  Hank sort of helped, but I am definitely in the mode where I am not waiting for Daniel because a) he usually falls asleep when he gets home, after he eats and b) I have ZERO patience right now, ZERO!

We are going to attempt to go to Ikea today and get some dressers for the boys' room and for Emma's room.  Her crib isn't even set up yet...but the pack and play in our room is - is this a bad sign already???  I also noticed yesterday that I have no baby clothes for her.  But, thank goodness, my cousin Lauren saved her stuff...this is my saving grace right now.  I went through all the stuff I saved for Elli, but since she was born in June, everything is short sleeved.  Like, I said, thank goodness for Lauren!  She is a life saver - Lauren, if you are reading this - THANK YOU!!!  (consider that your thank you note as I haven't written one since before June - sorry).

We are also going to try and stop and see Nana and Pop-Pop.  We haven't seen them since Christmas Eve.  So, this will probably be the last visit for a couple of weeks...because everyone knows that I hibernate in my house during this time of year and it will probably be freezing and unless I have to take a kid to school or activity, I am content at home.

Oh, I lost my mucous plug this morning - I know this doesn't mean much, bc you regrow one every 24 hours or something like that, but it was still exciting!!!

Alright, very random post today...sorry, my brain is in a million different places - nesting, organizing, TRYING to get a grip on all the toys in my house....ugh!

Also, I found a new blog obsession and this woman has been all over Facebook, but her blogs are hysterical and I find that I can totally relate to her.  And, she has an interesting name - Glennon.  If you haven't read her or heard about her, please do.  I especially like the Target blog with the sports bra and gym and also the one where she takes her kids to the doctor for various things and one time they tell her that her son's eyes look crossed because he is part-Asian.  It is really funny!!!

Okay, as I type this, I am 37 weeks pregnant with baby #4...I am so over this pregnancy.  I go to the doctor once a week now and I was already measuring 1cm dilated last week.  I hope there is some progress this week when I go.  I need to start getting out and walking...

Here are my stats from last week - 36 weeks:

Weight: +22 lbs

BP: 101/72 (which is a little high for me)

Baby's HR: 138

Everything is on track for me to have another induction the week of January 17th...at least that is what I am planning.

The holidays were CRAZY!!! We didn't leave the state of Maryland, but managed to travel all over or so it felt.  I felt terrible the whole time and eventually went to the doctor on Monday, the 26th.  Upper respiratory infection - awesome!  Elli then came down with something the week after Christmas - just a virus...

I am now in organizing and simplifying mode - getting rid of all my tupperware (especially the ones with mismatched lids - there is nothing more annoying to me).  I got new pots and pans for Christmas so I am recycling my old ones...I hope you can recycle them - they are in the yellow bins...we'll see if they take it later this week...

Christmas decorations, tree, etc came down after our last Christmas celebration on the 27th, then I got a bug up my butt to sort and organize the kids toys.  We have too much crap.  I need to donate 50% of what we have...it is so hard though...maybe this will be a spring cleaning effort.  

My goals for this new year start with financial stuff - get my financial house in order and get rid of my one credit card...it is annoying that I carry a balance and I really need to get serious about getting rid of it.  I have been following a lot of money saving mom blogs, and hopefully they will give me a jump start and motivation to follow through.  It will be tough for the 6 weeks where I am not working...and our maternity leave plan SUCKS...it isn't a maternity leave plan, it is short term disability and it is just crap.  I love my company (well, I love the people that I work with) but the benefits are not that awesome when it comes to maternity leave...I will keep harping on the President until he fires me or until he retires...

Packing my bag for the hospital - this has been quite a challenge for me.  I think because I am just lazy right now and I keep putting it off because I know that I will probably have to be induced and it will be a night before I am scheduled to have the baby.  The problem is that with my last pregnancies it was always hot out, so I didn't need to really bring anything EXTRA.  This time it will be freezing out and I just feel a little unprepared.  Oh well, my strategy is LESS is MORE.  As long as I can take the laptop and get a connection at the hospital, all will be fine.  I will only be there for a day or two...

I installed the car seat this morning, after washing everything so it smells wonderful!  It will be weird to have 4 car seats in our suburban.  We will no longer be able to take the camry anywhere - for emergency cases, we were able to fit 3 car seats in the camry by slamming the doors shut, but not anymore...no room for 4!

Jake started his new "structured" playgroup this morning.  It is a one-on-one intense learning environment.  He cried the almost the whole time he was there.  The poor guy, in the past month, he has been to a neurologist, he has seen a sensory specialist, Thursday he is having his hearing checked, and we are still waiting on confirmation back from Kennedy Krieger to see if they will schedule us an appointment at their Center for Autism Related Disorders.  The structured playgroup is a free program offered by our county infants and toddlers program.  I love the county program and have been very satisfied with them so far.  Jake is 27 months old and not talking.  He babbles, but he doesn't say "Mama" or "Dada" or "Baby" - none of the words he is "supposed" to be able to say around the 12-15 month range.  So, he will go 3 days a week for 90 minutes each day to be seen by an Occupational Therapist, a Speech Pathologist and a Sensory Specialist.  We have been doing a lot with the sensory "diet" and he seems to be comprehending things more now, but not vocalizing anything...so, I hope this playgroup helps him.  They thought he might be on the Autism Spectrum, and they might still think this.  But, I had him evaluated by Dr. Marc Disabella from Children's Hospital and he said he thinks he just has a developmental speech delay.  More to follow on his progress later.  He is such a sweet boy.

Hank is just as lovey as ever.  He does this "thing" where he kisses my whole face.  He kisses my eyes, both of my cheeks, my chin, my forehead, my nose, and my lips and he is just so freaking adorable.  It just melts my heart.  I hope he always does this to me.  He also tells everyone all the time that he loves them...could there be anything more sweet???

Elli is also doing extremely well.  She was very interested in where Santa lives and why we celebrate Christmas and how old is Jesus?  She is so cute and in this questioning sort of phase right now.  She is also goofy as ever.  

Anyway, this is a long overdue update...

Did I say that I am DONE with this pregnancy???  Who knows maybe I will go into labor naturally???  Ha!!!

20 weeks down, 20 to go...

So, I had my appointment yesterday. I took Elli and Jake with me, because I have no other choice, but the doc was so awesome. She let Elli help with everything from measuring my belly (19 cm) to using the Doppler to find the baby's heartbeat. Elli was a pro and itntook her no time to find the heartbeat. It was such a small gesture, but I know I appreciated it and Elli loved helping. I got another referral to go back to Anne Arundel diagnostics because at the last sonogram, Emma was turned and the tech couldn't see the 4 chambers of her heart. So, another appointment. Then, when I was making my other appointments, we scheduled two more 4 week appointments and then jumped right to 2 week appointments. Ahhh...when I see it like that I really feel like this pregnancy is flying by. I told the doc my concerns with not feeling the baby moving yet and she assured me that was normal. I have gained 7 pounds, heart rate was 95/55 and baby Emma's was 145. So we are doing great and so far so good. Well, hope everyone is staying dry. We have had rain all week. Pop-pop's 91st birthday party is this weekend along with the 9/11 heroes run. Should be fun.

Almost two weeks

I can't believe that I haven't written on the blog in almost two weeks. Well, there is a reason! I have been sick and so unbelievably tired and just haven't had the energy. Daniel and I are expecting our second child. Our due date is September 30, 2008. So, needless to say, I am suffering from the usual first trimester yucks! I have absolutely NO appetite, but then my stomach growls at me. I feel nautious until about 2pm in the afternoon, and I am so tired that I am back to napping when the baby naps. Thank goodness that she still has two naps a day, this has kept me a little sane. I don't remember being this tired when I was carrying Elli. Maybe because I was working full-time so I didn't realize how tired I was.

And, since I am pregnant, I can't have caffeine. Well, not that I can't, but I read an article that drinking caffeine doubles your chances of having a miscarriage. So, I have only had ONE regular coke so far. I am about 8-9 weeks right now and need to go and buy those motion sickness bands because I can't find the ones I used with Elli.

So, we are super excited. I hadn't really expected to get pregnant THIS soon after having Elli, but we are excited! Not sure if we will find out the sex of the next baby. I think that Daniel wants to know. I am kind of on the fence and I told him he can find out and just not tell me....or tell me at Elli's first birthday party.

Anyway, that's it. I have been bad about posting lately. We have had numerous birthday parties and get togethers, so I will post some pictures of those in a bit.