The past week has been tough on me...
I have been a little more of an emotional train wreck than normal:) First, last Saturday I was down and out with strep throat. That was HORRIBLE! I couldn't swallow, breathe, could barely sit up. I hate being sick, because I really don't get a chance to lie in bed and recover. Daniel wasn't much help either. He kept bringing me a screaming baby to feed, let the kids make the BIGGEST mess EVER! He kept the older two outside, but there was so much that I needed to be done inside, that it just made me even more pissed that I was sick, but still had to empty the dishwasher, and do laundry.
My husband makes me so happy in a million different ways....BUT, helping out around the house is not one of them. Sometimes I wish I could just let the toys and crap pile up, so he would trip over something in the middle of the night or he would see what would happen if I just let it all go. I am so not designed to just let things go...I can't stand it when the kids take out more than one toy at a time. I sometimes feel like I am the meanest mommy in the world because I want them to clean up, so I hide toys and put things away just so I don't have to do all the cleaning up. Jake drives me INSANE!!! Seriously, INSANE. All he does is DUMP toys. And, it drives me nuts! Daniel doesn't care, he can be surrounded by toys and trash and it doesn't bother him...is it because he knows I can't stand it and I will not let it sit and fester. I think I clean up toys about 50% of my day with the kids. It is these days that I cannot wait to get back to work.
Another thing that is hard is that Daniel didn't even ask if I was okay last weekend. He didn't come in to check on me to see if I needed anything. Is my husband the only one who does this? Is there some sensitivity training that he can attend or a normal husband that can talk some sense into him? He finished the toilet paper in our bathroom, and I asked him to get some more and he made me feel like I was asking him to move a mountain. I mean, seriously....and then he only brings ONE freaking roll, when our dispenser holds 5. I mean, I just look at that as lazy! Maybe he should have gone to military school. Ugh...So, needless to say, I was pretty much in tears all of Sunday and the majority of Monday. And, then he doesn't want to talk about anything, and he definitely doesn't want to talk about anything in front of the kids...well, sorry, he isn't really helping me in that department either. Lately, all he does is come home from work, eat dinner and then pass out on the recliner. I can't remember the last time he went to bed in our bed. This is NOT normal and I hate it. So, he basically knows that I will make dinner, clean up dinner, bathe the kids and put them to bed all while trying to breastfeed a new baby...I mean, I know that I can handle a lot, but I thought this was a partnership. Needless to say I had a meltdown on him on Sunday and Monday. And, I am up half the night with Emma - either feeding her, changing her, making sure she is warm.
So, now I am trying to simplify my life by getting rid of the toys and crap that I don't need. This is so hard for me...but hopefully my girlfriend Ellen or my friend Jen (who cleans my house) will be able to help me in the near future.
Anyway, that was my week this past week. I actually put on jeans on Wednesday for Emma's newborn photo shoot and on Thursday to visit my coworkers. But, the rest of the time I am running late and barely hanging on - dressed in sweatpants. I should rename my blog - My Life in Sweats...because that is what I am usually dressed in.
Superbowl is this weekend. I am rooting for the Giants. I am starting Weight Watchers on Monday. I have to find our scale so I can start weighing myself. I would like to be back down to my lifetime weight by the time I go back to work. I think I have 12 pounds to go...
I think my parents and I are going to help be each other's motivators. It is easier to do it with someone, and Daniel will just lose weight by eating the dinners I cook. Should be interesting!
Have a great weekend....sorry about the Debbie Downer post...but I needed to get somethings off my chest.
2 comments:
Hang in there Kristen! You're amazing and I don't know how you do it all. There's no shame in sweatpants!
Glad you have a place to vent. I can't even imagine 4 little ones, just giving birth and being sick. I don't know if there are any men alive that just clean. I actually got in a HUGE fight with an ex because he let dishes sit in the sink. He kept saying he would do them and I was like "you should want to do them know because it would make me happy." Didn't work and I did them. Anyway, your doing a great job and I hope Daniel reads this post. xo
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